Blegh. So today was bland, for lack of a better word, like a package wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine. It was an odd sort of day- I felt delusional, odd, unreal. Went to the mall with Bob and he bought shoes.

On the wet and dreary walk home, my mind played tricks on me. I saw things that were not there, my mind animated stories and crazy imagery of going down tunnels, suffocating on rubber walls, lungs filling with it like dough, and of driving a black mustang off a cliff in a world that looked like that of the old Beetlegiuse cartoon series, and falling, hitting the ground andbreaking through it like paper, and then falling through more layers of the same sort.  I wanted to let myself get hit by a car, I almost decided to lay down in the street and wait for SOMETHING to happen, anything to relieve of sheer misery and sorrow. It's sad, really, how much people really *don't* know about me, and how much they do. Shit, even I can't sort it all out.  You know, some old chinese philosopher said something like, "one day we'll awaken and realize the world was just a dream." That is not a direct quote.