I'm stuck between a rock and a hard spot. Shaun just had a major fight with his best friend. He did some stuff that he regrets and now he's in a major hole. It just makes me feel so gross. Not being able to do anything to help. Like I got over the feeling of like jelousy of not being the closest person to him. Of how when he hurt me he never tried apolagizing. Of how I had to contact him first.

I'm not sure if he actually cares about me. Like, uhg. When he hurt his best friend he feels so awful and so depressed and stuff. What am I? His emotional punching bag? Why do I care about him so much that I'll let him walk all over me? I gotta stop doing this. This is so stupid. The only thing is, I promised him I'd always be there for him if he needed me, and I meant it. I don't promise stuff like that freely. I care about him so dang much, and it's so messed cuz like if he makes a mistake or does something he's gonna regret, he beats himself up about it. *sigh* Well let's go get toughened up so I can get back in the ring for another beating.